Seriously?

So - I realize that my latest posts haven't been the most pleasant, but it's reflective of what I'm experiencing in Hungary, and it hasn't been fun. After I sent a message to one of the "good" soldiers in town now, we agreed to meet and talk about what happened with Justin. He knows him from Iraq and I thought he'd have some words of wisdom for me.

Unfortunately, while at dinner, I learned that two soldiers here now (both of whom hit on me) are married, and one of the soldiers (who chased after one of my friends for a while, and who I've seen on dates with a "Balkan red" headed Hungarian) got engaged over their recent leave. One of the married ones just invited me to go to the baths with him, apparently shortly after his wife left Hungary from their Christmas European Vacation- I didn't go, and incidentally I never spent time with him other than in a group.

Additionally, while we were having dinner, four other soldiers were seated at a table near us. It was interesting because none of them greeted the guy I was with (who is 48 and happily married, and NOT cheating on his wife). He is the only decent soldier I have met - though I really wish I had never met any of them.

Today I got a message from one of the four soldiers who was at the restaurant. He basically said that I was the army slut, and I have caused them nothing but problems since they got there. Well, in case he hadn't noticed, I am not the one who pursued ANY of the soldiers - and I am also not the one who is married - so what is it to him what I do? Apparently, the TRUTH is what is causing them problems- as is my calling them out on it. He also said he understood what Justin was saying when he described me as "crazy." Ya know what, go ahead Justin. Tell people I'm crazy and a psycho. Tell me you're disappointed that I work with kids. Tell your buddies that I fabricated our entire relationship. However, YOU are the one who has to live with yourself and all the lies you've told. If the other soldiers are okay living a life where they lie and cheat and call me names to make themselves better- that's their business.

I am sad that all this is happening as I'm getting ready to leave. It's really been a tough couple of weeks. Luckily, I have some American teachers, REAL friends, coming next weekend - and I will be glad to be surrounded by people who truly care about me. Even more exciting is the fact that I will get to return to the United States soon, and be enveloped in my support system. As my mom noted, my self esteem has taken a big hit as a result of this entire debacle, but eventually, I'll get over this and move on.

Thanks for your support in this difficult and un-called for time- and thanks for letting me vent here. I hope to start a new week tomorrow with a fresh attitude, and maybe a spike in my prozac dosage. Here's to positive postings in the future...